Do You Take This Man?

Do You Take This Man?

It was never an equal alliance

And…

I am assured that I need never

Again be unequally yoked.  What freedom

I didn’t do dalliance – but

Flirtation was the only (?)

At which I could present myself

And starting to uncover a real me

Was too painful

A foreign country – without a map

And I a geographical illiterate

Well, I didn’t speak the language

And only understanding a word or two

I, naturally, stood on the precipice

Unfolding a veil just enough to titillate

A peek or two

Then

What do I do

My mama never told me

Nor showed me

How good it felt to be me

What license

Seems I needed your permission

To hunt in the garden

Of make believe

Where phantoms flit

Beneath the trees

And among the flowers

Perfect precision in a

Well landscaped design

Boxed borders and profusions

Of delicate blossoms

Colors and texture

Wafted perfumes – too heady

To control the senses

Running amuck

Nowhere to hide

Am I to stay stuck? Inside?

Exposed to the frippery

With an all too obvious

“For Sale” sign

Across my bosom

Belying the heaving mass of nervous gaglia

Surrounding this pubescent heart

No connections with the gut

Which is shrieking

For help and guidance

And time and tolerance

And acceptance

When I didn’t even know the words

Let alone their meanings

No wonder I felt empty

From my chin to my knees

Naked, exposed

Not even a feather to cover

My most vulnerable self.  Please

Can I crawl back on the shelf

And like the Cheshire Cat

Slowly dis-------a-------pear

With only the grin

To show that I was ever there

That I was ever

That was

That I

I


4-21-98